Ice Queens: The Faggot War
nytheatre.com review by Michael Criscuolo
August 1, 2007
The laboratory environment of Dixon Place's HOT! Festival is playfully on display in Ice Queens: The Faggot War, Michael Cross Burke's humorous look at the battle royale between men's figure skaters Brian Boitano and Brian Orser at the 1988 Winter Olympics. While it's not always certain what Ice Queens is (it could be a play, a solo show, sketch comedy, performance art, dance-movement theatre, you name it) or what it's trying to achieve, this work-in-progress is nevertheless funny, inventive, and charming, and holds a lot of potential for its author and star.
The central premise of Ice Queens seems to be to prove that Boitano is gay, despite all his protests to the contrary. Boitano offers his marriage to a woman and their three children together, as well as his numerous denials of homosexuality, as proof that he is straight. Burke counters with contradictory evidence: Boitano's pre-performance ritual of visualizing while listening to the overtures of his favorite musicals, and a scandalous homemade videotape of the two Brians having sex. There is also Boitano's fairy godmother, an effeminate black man sporting tight shorts and wings, who addresses the skater as "diva," "girl," and "bitch."
Obviously, Ice Queens isn't hung up on provable facts. Burke imagines an insecure Boitano who is both a coke- and meth-head, believes the Olympics are all about "athletics and being famous," and secretly pines for the love of his nemesis. (At one point, Burke even acknowledges the silliness of this all by having the fairy godmother open a feather-covered binder and read a disclaimer that Boitano is, in fact, not a meth-head.) There are other funny moments, most notably a recreation of the showdown between two other ice queens, Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan (complete with infamous knee-bashing). And the homemade sex tape of the two Brians, while not graphic, is, um...well, let's just say it's very convincing (hint: there's a lot of nudity and thrusting).
Throughout, Burke remains a steady and enjoyable presence, playing both himself and Boitano. Sporting platform boots, black bikini briefs, and spiky two-tone hair, his graceful and tongue-in-cheek physicality is a high point of the show (he performs a faux-Boitano routine to Martika's "Toy Soldiers"). His three castmates, all of whom go unbilled in the program, are equally good, with each one getting their moment in the spotlight.
At a mere 40 minutes, Ice Queens is short and sweet. But it also has room to grow, which I hope Burke will consider. This piece needs more of a formally-structured identity and purpose, and could use more of the other characters. But, the basic framework of what Burke has already suggests the makings of a potential late-night cult hit. Hopefully, this won't be the last we hear from these queens.
