nytheatre.com q&a preview by Tommy Smith
March 20, 2013
What is your job on this show?
What is your show about?
A brutal comedy about how cruel we can be to the ones we love, when we want what they have.
WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WANTED TO WORK IN THE THEATER, AND WHY?
I was a fat kid and the theatre department in high school needed techies, and I figured it was the only way I’d get to talk to pretty girls. So pretty much then. (This remains a motivating factor.)
COMPLETE THIS SENTENCE: MY SHOW IS THE ONLY ONE OPENING IN NYC THIS SPRING THAT...?
Features a pregnant woman achieving satisfaction from an Eastern European thug punching her in the back of the neck. Repeatedly.
ARE THERE ANY CAUTIONS OR WARNINGS YOU’D LIKE TO MAKE ABOUT THE SHOW (E.G., NOT APPROPRIATE FOR LITTLE KIDS)?
I don’t think children will be allowed in. If you’re considering starting a family, this show will make you think twice about that. This is a terrible show for a date, but then as I was writing this my girlfriend (who was spying on me typing this) said, “It depends on what kind of couple you are.”
WHICH FAMOUS PERSON WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO GET A FAN LETTER FROM: DENZEL WASHINGTON, MAGGIE SMITH, ANG LEE, JESSICA LAWRENCE?
I think you meant the actress “Jennifer Lawrence”? (My brain would fall out if I got a letter from Jennifer Lawrence, because of her eyes and cheeks and being a brilliant actress and I would get all red and flushed cause she’s so pretty.) But I would still go with Jessica Lawrence, renowned European female bodybuilder. (Thanks, Internet!)
IF YOU HAD TEN MILLION DOLLARS THAT YOU HAD TO SPEND ON THEATRICAL ENDEAVORS, HOW WOULD YOU USE THE MONEY?
In order to clear mental space, I would pay off my parents’ debt, then I would pay off my brother’s debt, then my debt, then set up a college fund for my newborn niece. With the rest of the money, I would create an endowment to operate a small 200-seat venue in New York or LA with a suitable staff, featuring work by writers I love. This theatre would have only two modes of presentation: table reads, and productions. When marijuana becomes fully legalized, I would open an adjoining “coffee shop” bar, which would begin to provide funds for the venue, while simultaneously creating a (very) relaxing environment for pre- and post-show imbibing. (I would serve no alcohol.) Once the venue starts providing its own monetary resources from the “coffee shop” sales, I would shift the profits from the endowment to subsidize up-and-coming playwrights over a 4-7 year period – matching the amount to the hole in their finances, and not just throwing an arbitrary sum at them, while simultaneously providing financial training for the ACTUAL life of a writer, a typically low-wage vocation. Why, do you know someone with ten million dollars?